And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
