I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
