We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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