I have demons in me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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