she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize