24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
