She's JV to your varsity
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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