what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
