I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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