Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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