Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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