im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize