he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
