Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize