I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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