it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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