I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
