piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
