I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
