love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Someone signed my nipple.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
