I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
