porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
