My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
