NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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