that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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