So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
zippers are such a cool invention
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize