I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize