So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I cannot find my penis.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
