she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
