Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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