I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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