we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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