so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
