Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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