Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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