Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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