sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
