And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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