Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
