Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
