She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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