so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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