I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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