Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We have started to decorate penises.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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