She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
