At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
