It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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