Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize