so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
