the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
