He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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