I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
