And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
