I want to walk on stilts...naked
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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