Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
