Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
