i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
they need to just BURY HIM!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
