I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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