After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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