my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
